Christmas Party
by sawyer finn
Summary: Work in progress in which Jack is exploring his growing feelings for Samantha Carter while attending a staff Christmas party...


_Author's note: This story is a work in progress. The story is set somewhere between season three and season four. I am looking for constructive feedback on it! Particularly...is it too angsty? Is it believable and true to Jack's character as it had been developed by season 4? Is it believable and true to the relationship that was being hinted at/developed during those seasons between Sam and Jack? Where would you like to see the story go from here (and still remain canon to the show)? How does it read? Is the wording clunky and overemphasized, or does it flow and carry the emotional torment I am trying to express about the Colonel? Anything else you can think of in the realms of feedback also welcomed! _

_o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o _

The SGC Christmas party was not something Colonel Jack O'Neill had planned on attending. Far too many social functions still forced him down a memory lane fraught with bittersweet images of a past he couldn't bring back. Even though time passed, there were certain events in his past that were still too painful to contemplate fully. It was much easier to keep those memories safely locked away. And he figured the easiest way to do that was to avoid any and all situations that might trigger them. In Jack's mind, this definitely meant Christmas parties.

In fact, Jack had already circled the block around O'Malley's countless times. Each time, he'd pull away from the establishment with every intention of heading straight for home. And yet each time, he mysteriously found that he had circled back near the front of the bar. It was like an unconscious part of himself was acting on his behalf, for better or worse.

What ever the case, Jack had finally given in.

Now he found himself standing just outside the main entrance, fiddling with his keys and seriously questioning his reasons for being there. Despite his misgivings however, he was drawn to the noise and laughter inside.

He told himself that he was going to peek in for a moment and then quietly leave the way he had come. He promised himself that at most, he'd say "hi" to a few co-workers, if they spotted him, but then he'd make some excuses and his escape. He swore to himself that he would not stay for more than one drink. With one last resigned huff, Jack pulled the door open.

The Christmas music became less muffled as he entered, temporarily drowning out the voices of a well packed room. Familiar faces were scattered throughout the crowd. Jack spotted Daniel sitting at a table with one of the other archaelogists whose name eluded him at the moment. Both of them appeared to be involved in a passionate debate about something—most likely the latest artifacts brought back from off world or something equally academic. Jack was not about to join that particular conversation.

Sergeant Siler passed him on his way to the rest rooms. He nodded once and Siler waved back. Jack started to turn around and leave. He didn't really want to be here, but then he caught a flash of sunny blonde hair that drew his attention. And he instinctively knew what had drawn him here when everything else in his soul was screaming for him to stay away.

It was if Samantha Carter stood out among all the rest. He wasn't sure what it was about her that made it so, but there was this glow of warm vivaciousness that drew him in until he felt like he was rooted to the spot he stood at. Her head bobbed lightly as she laughed at something the person standing next to her must have said.

Jack studied her movements, watching how her smile touched every part of her face, noticing how her eyes twinkled with a passionate enjoyment. She was completely unaware of his scrutiny from across the room and for several long heart beats, he desired nothing more than to remain where he was so he could quietly observe her. Jack promised himself a few minutes of luxury and then he'd slip back out the way he had come in, with Sam never the wiser that he had been there. He knew that that would have to be enough.

And then her head turned and she spotted him standing at the door way. There was a heavy pause as their eyes locked, as if she was reciprocating his study of her with an intense scrutiny of her own. In the span of everything else occurring in the room, their exchanged stares lasted the briefest of seconds. But to Jack, it felt like a life time. He briefly wondered if it felt the same to her or not.

It was her smile that broke the sense of time slowing. She smiled as if she knew he had planned on coming all along. As if she were genuinely delighted to see him. Sam set down her glass and leaned over to say something to Janet before heading in his direction. The distinct feeling that no one else was in the room washed over him, so he forced himself to look away until she stopped in from of him.

"Merry Christmas, Sir." Her blue eyes sparkled with pleasure. "Glad you could make it."

_"For you, Carter, I'd do just about anything."_ He wanted to whisper into her tiny ear. But of course, Jack didn't say that. Instead he smiled and shrugged casually. "Yeah well I figure there's never anything good on television these days, so what the heck."

Sam giggled and took him by the arm, guiding him over to the bar. "What will you have, Sir?"

"We're off duty, Carter. Call me Jack." He smiled at her. "And I'll have a beer."

It never ceased to amaze him how relaxed he instantly felt around her. Yet he was certain that it couldn't entirely be attributed to the comradeship they had forged in the heat of tense missions. There was something about her that he instinctually trusted. Jack also knew just how dangerous that could be. He could lower his guard and let Sam in long before he even realized what had happened.

But Jack was starting to question if that was such a bad thing.

Sam smiled and ordered for the both of them, completely oblivious to his rambling thoughts. "Sorry, Jack. It's a habit." The bartender quickly handed her the order. She passed the bottle over to him and took a quick sip of her drink.

"Well maybe you should make it your New Year's resolution to break it." He raised his bottle in a small salute and then took a long swig.

"Only if you promise to relax more yourself." She fired back quickly and winked at him.

"Touche" He paused and then for emphasis said, "Sam." Samantha blushed and rubbed her free hand down the side of her slacks while looking anywhere but directly into his eyes.

Daniel interrupted the moment, by joining the two of them at the bar. "Glad to see you made it, Jack" He nodded as he waited to catch the bartender's attention.

"Thanks." Jack took another swig of his beer. "Teal'C here too?"

Daniel looked back over his shoulder. "Last I saw, one of Janet's orderlies had cornered him under the mistletoe.

"Teal'C? Cornered?" Jack grinned at the image.


End file.
